are you *sure* you never smoked de alcohol?

it could explain some of the delirious effects...!

I'd have done the same thing.

I recently had a nurse aske me if I ever had cancer and I answered "No but I -am- a Cancer." and she stopped and looked very serious and said "Please explain that to me." "It's my sign, silly."

Tanya, you have far more fun with your life that I ever hope to. The only thing I think about when I'm sick is how to not act the way I feel, because then NObody's happy. You are amazing...

I find when there's a cute RN it's always when they need a urine sample or something equally embarrassing.

Much as i dislike pain & other disconcerting aspects of medical appointments, i occasionally get in some quips that raise a chuckle or at least stop the medical staff to see if i really said it.

For example, once i was being weighed by the staff person at Kaiser (a big, bureaucratic HMO, for those not here in the SF Bay Area), who no doubt does this about 10 million times a day & gets totally bored. So, since this is right in the medical offices' hallway, before going into one of the exam rooms, it's done fully clothed. (No one has any sense of the absurd there, obviously.<g>) I'm a pretty thin, lightweight kind'a guy, you should know. So when i start taking out my wallet & keys to put them aside, the staff person says "no need to do that," to which i respond: "But i'll weigh twice as much if i leave them in." (She didn't seem to know what to say then.)

Another one, not as funny but totally dorky: I just had surgery (to remove an enlarged lymph node in my neck), & i'm in the recovery room with a zillion other people just out of surgery. As i'm coming to & the nurse has checked to be sure i'm still alive & all that, she asks me if i want some tea, & when i say yes, she asks what kind. I suppose she meant black tea or herbal. So i say i'd like cresanthemum tea. (I once had it with dim sum at a Chinese tea house. Kaiser didn't serve dim sum either, just a graham cracker. Might've stayed if it were the other way around.)

Oh yeah, & when i got undressed for bed the night after my surgery, i discovered several square patches attached to various parts of my back & side, with dark rubber-like nipple-shape nubs in the middle of each. So when describing the shock at what was done to my body in the OR, i've been telling my friends that i suspect that the surgery really wasn't to remove a lymph node but rather to make me into a transmitter to alien worlds ...or perhaps to install nipples on my body for the aliens to suck my energy.....

Chow for niao,
Whatever! (a.k.a. Alan)

i've been a "regular" at the docs these past few weeks due to a wayward spider bite on my foot.

i went back yesterday, a little distracted, and the nurse asked me "so, how are things?"

i told her things were great, work was busy, love the weather, etc...

she looked over her glasses and said "well, actually, i meant your foot. because if you're here, it can't be good".

oh right. duh.